My name is Kimberli and my husband, Melchor, was diagnosed with cancer in December of 2014. The blog began as I chronicled his journey with cancer. He never stopped praising God in the midst of all he was going through. He passed away on February 14, 2017 and is now rejoicing in heaven. This blog now chronicles a stage of life I didn't think I would enter until I was in my 80s or 90s, that of widowhood.
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A fork in the road
I posted this blog post in September of 2007. I came across it this evening and thought it was appropriate to post.
We are standing at a fork in the road. There are two roads that we can take; two ways we can possibly go. One road is the road of name-brand Christians. Christians who think the car they drive defines them, the clothes they wear make them, the platform they sit on, describes them. Christians who worry only about title, position, and power. Christians who don’t seek after God, but who seek after what they can get. Christians who please man, but not God. Name-brand Christians stand on the pulpit and act holy, they hold a microphone and act sincere, they sit in the pews and play the part.
Name-brand Christians are not genuine, they are not real, they are fake.
The second road we can take is the road to purity. A road filled with no games, no facades, no masks. A road with Christians who will pray. Christians who will read the Word. Christians who won’t be consumed with titles, positions, acclamations.A road filled with Christians who don’t seek after prestige, but who seek after God. Christians who don’t seek after applause, but who seek after God. Christians who recognize that it is God that matters the most. Christians who want to make a difference for the Lord. Christians who ask God ‘what can I do for you; not what can you do for me?’ Christians who have a burden for this generation. Christians who sob over the lost. Christians who want to please God.
My heart breaks because I don’t know what road we are taking. I don’t know where we are going. I don’t know what our future holds. This generation can make a difference. This generation can make a change. This generation can do mighty things. But the road we need to take is the road to purity.
If we take the Name-brand road, then the titles we have, the positions we hold, the platform that we have are not sincere; it is not real. If we take the Name-brand road we might be pleasing man, but we are so displeasing to God. If we take the Name-brand road we are fooling only ourselves. If we take the Name-brand road we are not doing anything. We might have the power, we might have the prestige, we might have the applause, we might have the clothes, the car, the positions, but we don’t have God.
But if we take the purity road, we have so much. We have God, and that is what matters the most. We have it all. Let us restore the purity of the church. Let us restore prayer. Let us restore the Word. Let us begin the renovation, the restoration, let us have a makeover within the church. Let us put a stop to the games that are being played, the politics that have defined us, and the sin that has consumed us. Change lies in our hands, and so it is up to us. What road are we going to take?
More and more on my social media feeds I have been seeing a lot of churches boast of the cool, trendy new initiatives that they have begun. I have seen pictures of coffee bars that resemble Starbucks. I have seen lighting that resembles one seen on Broadway. I have read catchy sermon titles and have seen how people have brought the movies into their sermons. In so many of these posts, I see all that churches are doing to attract new members, but I don't hear them talking about the power of Jesus.
My husband passed away February 14th, 2017 after a two year battle with cancer.
To say he battled cancer is an understatement. He was hospitalized two weeks out of every month during the first year of treatment. He was hospitalized a total of 18 times. He was rushed to the emergency room 8 times. He spent close to 500 days separated from his two children over the course of two years. And eventually the chemo, designed to get rid of the cancer, caused him to be paralyzed. And for the last …
On February 14th I lost my best friend. My husband. The father of my two precious children. Since then I have cried a multitude of tears. My heart feels shattered. I am 36 and the pain I feel is immense and so I can't even begin to imagine how the pain of losing their dad feels to a six year old and five year old. Our house feels so empty. Pictures of my husband fill each room as do memories. It is so hard to convey the pain the one feels from losing someone they loved so much. Last night I held a five year old girl as she sobbed uncontrollably because she missed her dad so much. And when she finally fell asleep from crying, I slipped out of the bed, went to the loft and then cried uncontrollably myself. I absolutely know that my husband is in heaven and I have so much peace that he is not suffering anymore. When I think of all that he had to endure the last two years of cancer treatment I am thankful that he is not in pain any longer. He had chemo dripping through his body at tim…
I woke up a wife today but am going to sleep a widow. My children woke up today with a dad they could touch and are going to sleep with just memories. Mel's body was too tired. Too exhausted. He had fought for so long. And he could not fight any longer
Crushed. That word doesn't describe how I feel. Death is hard. But this was unexpected. We were planning hospital discharge plans last Thursday and the expected discharge date was February 14th. I had no idea that he was going home just not his earthly one.
Devastated. Because I don't know how to go through life without my husband by my side. The Bible talks about what two get married they become one and so I feel like half of me has been taken away. He was an amazing husband. God truly knew what I needed in a husband and while I am devastated I only got seven years of marriage with him, I am blessed to have had those seven year.
Heartbroken. More than the pain I feel from losing my spouse I am broken over the fact that my k…