Skip to main content

I don't know what to do...


I don’t know what to do….

Sometimes writing comes very easy to me. And there are times like today when it doesn’t.

I just don’t know what to do.

We got some not so good health news today.

And I don’t know what to do.

I have a 4 year old and a 3 year old at home missing their daddy.

And I don’t know what to do.

I am looking at my husband sitting in a hospital bed

And I don’t know what to do.

I don’t know. I am a planner. I am a thinker. I am an organizer. I am always on top of every responsibility.

But I don’t know what to do.

I don’t know if I am supposed to go left or if I am supposed to go right.

I just don’t know….

I have absolutely always hated not knowing. I like to have everything lined up with my nice little to-do lists. I like to know.

But I don’t know what to do…

But then God whispers, “I have not asked you to figure this out on your own. I have not asked you to drive the car you are in. I have not asked you….But I have asked you to trust in me with your whole heart. I have asked you not to lean to your own understanding. I have asked you to call upon me when you are weary and I have declared that I will give you rest. I have asked you to pray. I have asked you be strong. I have asked you to be courageous. I have said that I will never forsake you. I have asked you to believe that my ways are higher than your ways. I have asked you to believe that those who wait on me will have their strength renewed. I have asked you not to grow weary in well doing because in due season you will reap. I have asked you to believe that every day of your life has already been ordained by me. But I have never asked for you to figure it out on your own.”

And so while I don’t know, God knows.
We are not expected to figure things out. God is in control. And so I will stop trying to figure things out and just let God...

 Every Sunday we take an "off to church picture." This road we take is going to be a difficult one, but I am glad that we have Jesus by our side!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Why the church doesn't need any more coffee bars

More and more on my social media feeds I have been seeing a lot of churches boast of the cool, trendy new initiatives that they have begun. I have seen pictures of coffee bars that resemble Starbucks. I have seen lighting that resembles one seen on Broadway. I have read catchy sermon titles and have seen how people have brought the movies into their sermons. In so many of these posts, I see all that churches are doing to attract new members, but I don't hear them talking about the power of Jesus. 

My husband passed away February 14th, 2017 after a two year battle with cancer.






To say he battled cancer is an understatement. He was hospitalized two weeks out of every month during the first year of treatment. He was hospitalized a total of 18 times. He was rushed to the emergency room 8 times. He spent close to 500 days separated from his two children over the course of two years. And eventually the chemo, designed to get rid of the cancer, caused him to be paralyzed. And for the last …

To the Christian who had sex before marriage

This past week my social media was inundated with engagement and wedding posts. It seemed as though everyone was either getting married or engaged during the month of November. And as I scrolled through the many pictures I began to think of those who are filled with guilt or shame over their past and who every time they see an engagement announcement or wedding picture think within themselves "that will never be me."

You have convinced yourself that because you had sex outside of marriage, or because you were in an unequally yoked relationship or because you are a single parent, or because before you were a Christian you had an abortion, or because even though you didn't have sex you didn't maintain sexual purity, (the list can go on) that you don't deserve or never will get that "happily ever after."

Your sin may have been exposed to all due to a pregnancy or maybe yours is hidden in shame and secrecy and you are afraid to even admit what you have don…

Mommy, why didn't God heal daddy?

Monday night my six year old daughter came running to my bedroom with tears streaming down her eyes. She was crying so hard I could barely decipher the words coming out of her mouth. "Mommy, I miss daddy.... Life isn't the same without him.... Why did he have to die???? Why didn't God heal daddy????I wish God would let him come back."

Why can't the difficult questions my children ask be "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Why, at seven and six do they have to ask "Mommy, why didn't God heal daddy?"  Most six year olds are playing with toys, learning to read and watching their favorite television shows. For the most part, so is my daughter but then there are nights like Monday where the tears stream down her face for an hour. Or there are days where I find her in her bedroom, holding a picture of her dad to her chest silently crying and when she sees me asks, "Mommy, why didn't God heal daddy?" 





My children ask me question…