our children

My husband is an amazing father. He loves Malachi and Hannah so much. From the time they were babies, my husband has been the best father. He would get up in the middle of the night with them. He has changed (and continues to change) many diapers. He runs around with them, throws them in the hair and allows them to climb all over him. Every Sunday he even allows me to take a nap after church and he spends that time playing with them. Even when he worked 60 hour weeks and went to school full time, He always put our children first. He is the best dad!

And because he is the best dad, I know that it is killing him that he is not able to spend much time with them. My husband will continue to be in the hospital for the next couple of weeks and since he has been admitted he has seen them for about 30 minutes every day. And I know that is killing him.

And I know my children do not understand everything that is going on. I wish for a moment that I could see life through their eyes and that I could read their mind. How can a three and four year old understand what cancer and chemotherapy mean? I wish I knew if they were scared, nervous or worried. I wish I knew if they understood even at their level what was going on.  I wish I knew so I could do whatever it took to make things better for them. We have explained to them that daddy is sick and is in the hospital but they are four and three years old. They can’t understand the concept of cancer, chemotherapy, WBC, immune system, etc. They don’t understand what Lymphoblastic Lymphoma means.  
Hannah is a complete daddy's girl

And I know they miss us. I alternate the nights where I spend. And the nights when I am at home, I can tell that my children have missed us so much. Malachi and Hannah cuddle closer to me on the bed than they normally do. They pretty much sleep on top of me. And they ask me who is staying with daddy. I hope they know how much we miss them. I hope they know how much we want to be with them. I hope they understand just how much we love them.
 When Malachi was a newborn baby.

And I know it is hurting my husband so much that he is not with them. I know he would give anything to be able to be at home right now.

But because he is the best dad, I know my children will be okay. Even though they are little, my husband has planted so many seeds in them. He has spent their entire life watering those seeds and I believe they have taken root. He has taught my children what love is. He has taught them what priorities are. He has taught them what family means. He has taught them so much.

And he is teaching my children about the importance of a relationship with God. This is a difficult situation for our family, but just as we believe that God is going to heal my husband, we also believe that God is protecting our children. Not only is God protecting our children, but I believe that my children will see the dependence my husband has on God. This is an important seed that I want planted in the life of my children. I want them to have a foundation based on a dependence on God. I want my children to grow up walking on God’s path. I don’t want them to ever stray from God’s truth.
 He always has time for these two.

And so I know it is killing my husband that he is not home with the kids, but I know this testimony will be one that he shares with the kids as they get older. I can picture Mel telling my children throughout their life how God saw us through an incredibly difficult situation.  I can picture him telling Malachi and Hannah how God gave us peace in the time of a storm. I can picture him telling the children how God gave us the strength we so desperately needed when we were weak and weary. I can picture him telling the children how God was his healer.

And I can picture them growing in a personal relationship with God. 

And I know that because Mel loves the children so much they will be okay.