Tomorrow my husband is supposed to begin chemotherapy. The doctor described the aggressive form of treatment my husband will be receiving. The doctor described all the negative effects of the chemo and there are many. He essentially told my husband that he shouldn't expect to work for at least a year.
And so our life has changed dramatically. Last night my 4 year old and 3 year old fell asleep cuddled next to me on my bed while my husband slept in the hospital. For awhile I will be sitting by myself at church and I won't be able to see my husband playing the bass guitar on the platform. My husband won't be able to play with my kids like he usually does. We lost more than half our income and every day I don't work I don't get paid. I don't even know how to mow a lawn and my grass is soon going to warrant a friendly letter from the HOA. And I now I have to take the trash out myself.
So our life is going to be incredibly different. A lot has changed.
But God hasn't changed. I gain so much encouragement from the verse that says "Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever." The same God who rained down manna from heaven, delivered Daniel from the lion's pit, and and who spoke life into existence is the same God that will be with us during this incredible journey. He was a healer, deliverer, giver of peace and strength during the. Bible and he does those same things today.
Our life has changed but I know God is holding our hand. I know in the middle of the night if I wake up crying, God will be there for me. I know when the worries of this situation begin to overwhelm me, God will be there to give me strength. I know that when the fear begins to creep into my mind, God will be there to give me peace.
And I know that the story God is writing has a great ending. I know Gods purpose in our life will be fulfilled. And so our life has changed but I will still trust in God and lean not to my own understanding.