Showing posts from September, 2015

The day I told God I quit

This has been an exhausting year. We ended 2014 with my husband in the hospital having just been diagnosed with cancer. We rang in the News Year sitting in a hospital room our life having been turned upside down in a matter of moments. Lymphoblastic Leukemia was the final diagnosis. And for the last 11 months there have been many tears shed. Our heart has been shattered and the pain we have felt has been indescribable. 

This has been a very painful year. It has been heartbreaking. It didn't turn out the way I thought it would. I have cried many tears as I have seen my husband receiving chemo. I have felt my heart shatter as I am forced to answer the questions my children ask concerning why their daddy is in the hospital. I have cried myself to sleep some nights thinking about our finances. And there are so many fears that invade my mind. Fears about relapse. Fears when I look at statistics. Fears that this will continue on for many more years. Fears that my children will be robbed …

When God doesn't come through the way you thought He would

I didn't want to write this blog. In fact, as the thought and the words to the blog flooded my mind, I prayed "God please don't let me have to live what I am about the write."But the thought wouldn't go away and I truly believe that someone needs to read this blog. So here goes...

We all like hearing testimonies of the things that God has done. We shout when we hear of the job offer. We clap when we hear of that mysterious check that was found in the mailbox. We run and jump when we hear of the tumor that disappeared. We love testimonies. When a person receives a promotion they weren't qualified for, we thank God. When a person is able to conceive years after dealing with infertility, we cry tears of joy. When a marriage is restored and a child delivered from drugs, we offer thanks to God.

But what happens when God doesn't come through the way we thought He would? What happens and what do we do, when the check didn't arrive in the mail and our mortgag…

There is an end

In every book there is an end. Sometimes the book is so great you don't want it to end.  Other times the book is horrible and you are grateful when you reach the last chapter. When I attended graduate school I read many bad books. As much as I would have liked "quitting" in the middle, my grade depended on me completing each book. There were times when the horrible books were only a couple hundred pages, but there were other times when the books were over 1,000 pages in length. I would often wonder how long it would take me to finish the book. I would count how many pages I still had to read and try to figure out how many hours it would take. Even though it was difficult to get through each chapter, there was an end. The book did finish. I was able to move on.

Yesterday one of the ministers from our church came to pray with Mel. Because Mel had been having fevers and the doctor thought he had an infection, I took the day off so I was in the hospital when he came to pray.…