There is an end

In every book there is an end. Sometimes the book is so great you don't want it to end.  Other times the book is horrible and you are grateful when you reach the last chapter. When I attended graduate school I read many bad books. As much as I would have liked "quitting" in the middle, my grade depended on me completing each book. There were times when the horrible books were only a couple hundred pages, but there were other times when the books were over 1,000 pages in length. I would often wonder how long it would take me to finish the book. I would count how many pages I still had to read and try to figure out how many hours it would take. Even though it was difficult to get through each chapter, there was an end. The book did finish. I was able to move on.

Yesterday one of the ministers from our church came to pray with Mel. Because Mel had been having fevers and the doctor thought he had an infection, I took the day off so I was in the hospital when he came to pray. In his prayer he declared that God had an end for what we were going through. There is an end to this book we call cancer.

It is horrible watching my spouse hooked up to chemotherapy. It is horrible seeing as fevers take over his body It is horrible when we are separated for so long while is hospitalized. From the first diagnosis of cancer, the book we are in has not been pleasant. There have been many pages of this book where I have cried. Many pages of this book where my heart as ached. There have been many pages of this book where the pain has been so incredibly hard. Yet that has been our life this year. 8 hospital stays. Over 120 days hospitalized. 6 cycles of chemotherapy. Over 240 days where our life has been defined by CANCER. It has been horrible. It has been hard. There have been rivers of tears shed. There has been a pain that has been felt so deeply. There have been dark days. There have been lonely days. There have been days where I have been so overwhelmed. This book  called cancer has been pretty horrible.

But God has been in every page of this book. Whereas I might have been crying in one paragraph, the next paragraph of this book began "But God gave them strength." While my heart may have been broken in one sentence, the following sentence began "But God gave them peace." Where I might have been overwhelmed with the financial situation in one paragraph, the paragraph ended with "but God made a way." In the midst of the book there has been peace. There has been joy in the midst of the crying. There has been strength in the midst of the weakness. There has been comfort in the midst of the sorrow. There has been provision. And while every page that I turn in this book called cancer, I wonder how many more pages do we have left? How much longer do we have to go before this is all over? How much more do we have to endure?  But with each page that we turn, God is there. On every page of this book, His presence is felt. There has not been one time that He has been absent. There has not been one chapter where He was missing. In the midst of what we are going through, God is right there

And God has already written the end.  There is an end. This season will end. This pain will end. This heartache will end. Cancer will end. While we might have to endure this pain for a few more months, God has already completed the book. He already knows how this book titled Cancer will end. He has already written an end to our pain. An end to our tears. An end to this situation.

And He has written what is to come after this season. After wildfires, grass grows again. After storms, flowers bloom. And after cancer, God is going to restore everything that we lost this year. And we will come out refined. We will come out stronger. We will come out with a closer relationship with God. Because God knew this book would not destroy us. He knew that this chapter of our life wouldn't cause us to turn away from Him. He knew that this season wouldn't devastate us. And that it wouldn't tear us down. And that it wouldn't break us. He knew we would stand. He knew we would still praise Him. He knew that His name would be glorified through this all.

And so He allowed us to go through this. And while it has been devastating, I know there is an end. And that we will come out on the other side.