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Showing posts from December, 2015

When you are too tired to take another step

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In January my husband and I sat in the car in the driveway before my husband met with his oncologist from San Antonio. We had just returned from California where our 2 week vacation was extended by a week because my husband ended up getting diagnosed with cancer. In the car that morning, my husband prayed "God whatever the outcome you are good and you are still God." That afternoon, I drove home alone as the oncologist ordered that my husband be admitted right away in order to start chemotherapy. Not the outcome we wanted, but God was still good. 12 months later there have been many times we have prayed that same prayer.

But the truth is although God has been good during the entire 12 months and although we never doubted His love or that fact that He was in control of the situation, there have been days when we have been tired and drained and depleted. There were some times that my feet crumbled and I fell to the floor too weak to stand, too weak to walk, too weak to take an…

After the diagnosis: Experiencing peace in the midst of the storm

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December 30th....A day that started like the 363 days that came before it that year. We were on vacation. My husband had not been feeling well. I was mad at him that he didn't go to the doctor before we left for vacation. We thought he had pneumonia. Yet by the time the day came to a close we heard the words no one wants to hear "cancer." Every detail about the emergency room we were in, the television show that played in the background and the words of the doctor are still fresh on my mind.

The pain was brutal. It was sharp. It was devastating. The next 6 days my husband laid in the hospital room awaiting the final results of the biopsy. He had a tumor in his chest. His lung was collapsed. His heart was constricted. And our world was turned upside down. My husband was 29 at the time of the diagnosis. We had a 4 year old boy and a 3 year old girl. Our life was going great. I started working from home. My husband was in his last semester at the community college. Our cred…