I am tired of trusting in God...
Tired of cancer
Tired of chemo
Tired of calling the insurance on a daily basis
Tired of this storm that has relentlessly pounded
Tired of having ten years of teaching experience but making significantly less than a first year teacher but not being able to do much about it because I need to be able to work from home and health insurance is through my job
And it hurts...
It hurts seeing my husband hooked up to chemo
It hurts hearing my son tell me he gets sad when his dad is in the hospital
It hurts listening to doctors as they provide statistics
It hurts as 18 months of this horrible journey continues on
And even though I can see the provision of God I'm broken that we have to endure this
Yes God has removed a tumor from my husband’s body
Yes God did provide thousands of dollars of home school curriculum to me for free
Yes God opened the door for me to work this summer where I make more than I make from my actual job
Yes God has provided financially for the last 18 months and our oil has not run out
I am tired….
This road hurts. This storm hurts.
So I am going to take off the mask we all put up
And the love of God will see us through. In our darkest times, God will hold our hand. He will wipe our tears. He will ease our pain.
This mountain may remain but He will give us the strength to climb it.
And so I take off my mask. And I allow God to see my pain. Because He is the one who mends the broken hearts.