God can do all things but He doesn't have to do anything.
We read about all of the miracles that God performed in the Bible. We read about Him parting the Red Sea, speaking life into existence and delivering Daniel from the lion's den. We read about the lame walking, blind seeing and dead raising. We read about so many miracles that God performed. He did it all because He can do all things, but He didn't have to do any of them.
The last two years have been the most challenging two years of my life. Our life has been placed on hold. There are no vacations. There are no care-free days. We don't sit around and plan our future because we have no idea what the future holds. Hundreds of days my husband has spent in the hospital. For the last almost three months he has been unable to walk. It has been two and half months since he has last been able to move his hands. He can't hug his children. He can't play with them. There are no date nights. He can't hold my hand.
And on a daily basis we cry out to God. We ask Him to heal because He is the healer. We ask Him to allow this season to pass from our life and to allow the storm clouds to disappear because we are weary and in an indescribable amount of pain. It hurts and there is no denying the pain. Acknowledging pain isn't denying God's power. Talking about the sorrow and questions we experience doesn't signify a lack of trust in God. For almost 730 days our life has revolved around the cancer diagnosis. We have experienced the pain of relapse. We have felt our heart break when the doctor's told us there was nothing else they could do.
And we know that God can do all things. But we also understand that He doesn't have to do anything.
We ask Him to perform the miracle because we know He can. We ask Him to heal Mel's body. We ask Him to speak life to the nerves and allow my husband to be able to move and walk once again. We pray that He give Mel more years of life so he can see his children grow up. We go to Him with all of our needs because we know that God can do all things. But we also understand that He doesn't have to.
God can heal. He can perform the miracle. He just has to say the word. But sometimes He doesn't. Sometimes He doesn't heal. Sometimes He doesn't perform the miracle. Sometimes He doesn't say the word. Sometimes, even though God can do all things, He doesn't do what you have asked Him. And it is during those times that we are faced with a decision. Are we going to live for God the way we did when life was going to go according to plan? Or are we going to walk away because God chose not to answer the prayer the way we wanted Him to? We are faced with the decision do the words we sing in church only have meaning when life is going great? or do they have meaning when life seems to be falling apart?
God can do all things but He doesn't have to do anything. He doesn't have to answer the prayers the way we would like Him to. He doesn't have to perform the miracle our heart so desperately wants Him to perform. He doesn't have to heal when the doctors say there is not anything else they can do. And if He chooses not to, it doesn't diminish His power. It doesn't mean He doesn't love. It doesn't mean He wasn't in control. It doesn't mean He wasn't moved by our tears. It doesn't mean He didn't have compassion when He saw our broken heart. It doesn't mean He didn't embrace us with His comfort when He saw the intense amount of pain we were in.
Every day we pray for a miracle. And every day we wake up believing that this is the day that God could command the limbs in my husband's body to move. We wake up believing that this is the day that God could heal that wound that developed in the hospital. We wake up believing that this is the day that God could restore all of the nerve damage caused by the chemotherapy. Every day we believe that this is the day that God can perform that miracle. Because God can do all things. But we also know that there is a chance God will chose not to. That doesn't keep up from believing. That doesn't keep us from praying. That doesn't keep us from trusting. That doesn't diminish the faith we have in God. And although if God chose not not to heal my husband, my heart would be shattered and my children will be devastated it won't stop me from living for God. It won't stop me from declaring that He is a healer. It won't stop me from praising Him.
God can do all things but He doesn't have to do anything. And there are times when He chooses not to do what we have cried out in desperation for Him to do. There are times when the hours we have spent in prayer for the miracle doesn't result in a miracle. There are times when the sleepless nights we have cried out to God to change our situation doesn't result in a change of situation. There are times when the story ends in heartbreak not a miracle.
But if that happens....if the miracles doesn't come...if the prayers aren't answered the way we desperately hoped it....if the situation doesn't resolve the way we prayed for hours that it would....
God is still God. And He can still do all things....
Praying for another day like this...
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