We have received so much bad news over the last two years. We have had to live out the scripture "trust in the Lord with all your heart." Everything has been stripped from us. And there is nothing we can do to change the situation we are facing. Life is not going according to our plans. Our dreams have not come to pass. Things do appear to be falling apart. But every time the doctors tell us what they can no longer do I think of the verse that says "I will bless the Lord at all times." Words will never convey the pain my family is experiencing but through it all God is so good.
God has not stopped being good. He has not stopped being a God of love. He has not stopped caring for us. He has not abandoned us to figure things out on our own. And I understand for some this is so hard for them to fathom. They don't understand how God can still be good in the midst of the devastating situation we are facing. We don't understand our situation. We don't understand why cancer struck my husband. We don't understand why instead of him remaining in remission the cancer has relentlessly returned multiple times. We don't understand those things and we have many questions but we have never questioned the goodness of God.
Every emotion known to man I have probably experienced within the last two years. I am hurting. I don't understand. I have questions. My heart is full of sorrow. My tears have consumed me. I have grown weary. We are tired. We feel beaten and bruised. It is not fun hearing a doctor tell your husband that all hope is lost.
But we know that hope is never lost when God is in your life. We know that in the midst of sorrow there is a peace. We know that in the midst of our weakness comes a strength from above. And we will declare and believe and proclaim that God can perform a miracle. I have confidence that this situation is not too difficult for God. I truly believe that there is nothing that God can't do. And I am not scared at the prognosis that the doctor's have presented us. I realize that there is no more medicine that can help my husband but I also know there is a Healer who sits on the throne and He can still perform the miracle. So daily I am going to praise Him for the healing I may not see but the healing I know He can perform.