Why do doctor's only give us bad news?
This weekend's events began on Friday with Mel developing a severe case of diarrhea which resulted in a blood test that confirmed C Diff. The doctors started him on antibiotics to control this. And the events continued through Sunday where Mel's doctor came in his room bright and early at 7 this morning. Mel's blood pressure was incredibly low. He needed a chest X-Ray to rule out an infection. So they had to hook him up to fluids. They also had to give him another unit of blood and more platelets. Mel received blood and platelets on Monday. His body is not producing what it needs for survival on it's own. We are currently at once a week transfusions. The duration between transfusions has grown smaller within the last couple of months. But the events did not stop there. They continued with Mel having difficulty breathing during his dressing change which resulted in him hooked up to oxygen. And it will end with him being transferred to the ICU just so they can monitor him closely. His primary doctor at the hospital has seen him a total of 5 times today and it is only 3:00 in the afternoon as I write this.
Sometime in between all of the exciting events, Mel's oncologist came in to discuss what steps we were going take to prolong Mel's life. At this rate, Mel needs weekly transfusions. His body is not producing what it needs to. She said the paralysis is slowly decreasing and will continue to decrease but the cancer will only progress and his time on earth is likely short. She asked us whether we would put him on life support if his heart stopped beating.
Having a conversation with your spouse about death when they are sick is very different when that conversation is had when your spouse is healthy. Many spouses discuss the "what measures should be used to save me conversation" when they are healthy. And while those conversations are important everything changes when a spouse gets sick. It is a difficult conversation to hold.
We have been given bad news before. In October doctors told us they thought the paralysis was going to spread and they gave Mel a few weeks to live. Yet God intervened. And I know that God absolutely can intervene again. I believe that within a moment, God can change everything around. I believe He literally can speak to the bone marrow and restore it to its rightful state. I believe He literally can place His hand on Mel's body and remove all cancerous cells within his body. I believe that there are times when God waits until everyone else has given up to show the power that lie in His hands. I am not scared by the prognosis of the doctor's because I know God change things.
There are times when I write and I include a paragraph only to delete it. That is what I did right here. I was going to right something else but I am choosing to end this blog with my belief and declaration that God can complete the healing process in my husband. This is not denying that there is a possibility that God won't but every day while my husband has breath I am going to believe that God will heal him. My faith in God has not decreased. My belief in the possibility of a miracle has not wavered. I praise God for the day my husband will get out of the bed and walk. I praise God for the day that the doctor's come and tell us they are astonished by the miracle that was performed. I praise God for the day Mel and I will celebrate our 20th anniversary. I praise God for turning this situation around. I will declare that all is well.
All is well...