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Why I decided to take a break from social media

My children are with me virtually every second of every day. As a result of this, there are very few times of the day where it is silent. Even during my daily time of prayer and reading the Bible, I can guarantee that one of my children is going to come in the room at least 10 times to ask me some question that they think is so important. There are a lot of interruptions. There is a lot of noise in my life and not enough silence. I can blame the noise on my children, but a few weeks ago I realized that during the times where it could be silent in my life, I was bringing distractions in.

I enjoy social media. I have reconnected with people I went to high school with. I have stayed in contact with those who live in California after I moved to Texas. I love looking at the pictures and reading the posts. But I realized I was spending way too much time scrolling through social media. This may not necessarily be a bad thing, but the more I thought about it, I realized that I was scrolling through social media because I liked the distraction. I liked the noise social media brought to my life. When I allow distractions in my life, it enables me to avoid the reality of my situation.

The reality of my situation is painful. My husband is dead. I am a widow. My children do not have a living father. The dreams and hopes that I had for the future were discarded when my husband took his last breath. The best friend who knew me better than anyone is gone. And so it makes sense that I would welcome distractions so that I wouldn't have to focus on my reality.

But if we want healing in our life
We can't avoid our reality


(This is my new reality...That of a widow and single mom)

Satan would like us to keep the distractions in our life. Because the distractions, while they enable us to avoid the reality, don't enable us to get the healing that comes from God. Satan would like us to focus on the pain of the healing process, because it is painful, rather than focus on the end result. The healing process a widow endures is painful. And there are times a widow would prefer the distractions than to sit in silence and acknowledge their reality. In the silence, the reality screams loud. In the silence, there is no avoiding what their new life looks like. 

So many things are revealed in the silence:

The fear of having to start their life all over
The disappointment they have over losing their spouse
The hurt they have that their spouse wasn't healed on earth
The emptiness they feel because their best friend is gone
The worry they have over their children growing up without a parent

The things they have kept hidden within their heart because they are afraid to vocalize them.

But those things have to be revealed in order for the healing to come....

In the silence, God inspects our heart. He reveals the things that we have hid. He brings to the surface that which we have buried. It hurts. There are no distractions in the silence to help us avoid that pain. 


But...

It is when we are silent that we begin to hear God speak hope. Speak peace. Speak faith. Speak joy. Speak restoration. Speak promises. Speak deliverance. Speak love. Speak provision. Speak life. And it is in the silence, the healing comes. The heart that was so shattered begins to be pieced together again. The hope that seemed so lost is restored.

For me, in the silence, the healing process hurts because there is a lot that died when my husband took his last breath. But when I sit in silence, and allow God to reveal to me the things I have hid in my heart, things I may not have been aware of, I allow God to heal me. And the dreams that died along with my spouse are revived again. Comfort replaces sorrow. Fear of the future is replaced with hope. Hurt that my husband was not healed on earth is replaced with joy that he is in heaven. Promises that God gave are renewed. In the silence, I gain an understanding that all was not lost. I am filled with peace that God does restore.

In the silence....
.










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