I've taken hundreds of pictures on this front porch over the last six years.
But the healing didn't take place on earth rather it took place in heaven and I was left with the decision what to do.
I chose to continue with the plans we made to sell.
So the pictures from this porch are coming to an end. I look at my house and all of the amazing memories that have been made. I can hear the laughter that has filled each room. I can picture Mel waking up in the middle of the night with our children. I can see him running and playing with Malachi and Hannah. I picture him throwing them up in the air in the backyard and giving them piggy back and shoulder rides up the stairs before bed. I see him staying up late doing his homework after a long day of work because he wanted me to be able and be a stay at home mom.
And I see the painful memories. The nights he slept on the rocking chair because he was in so much pain. The room where I was working when I received the call from him that the cancer had returned. The nights I slept sandwiched between two children as Mel lay in a hospital bed. And the five months he was confined to a bed paralyzed.
Moving is very bittersweet. It will be sad saying goodbye to this home. It hurts hat Mel isn't here as we move. But I know he would be happy seeing this take place. His prayer was that if he died, we would live. He prayed that we would move forward with life. He prayed that we wouldn't be consumed with sorrow. The memories of Mel will be with us always regardless of where we live.
I wasn't sure whether I would publicly share about our move but I felt that it was important for others grieving to read. Your decision may not involve selling your house, but when making the decision to live and to move forward after death you are doing a great thing.
I also wanted to encourage someone facing closed doors or pain in their life. God has not forgotten or abandoned you. For the last three years our life was on hold. Cancer and chemo dominated everything. We witnessed doors opening for others while our life was full of pain. But we determined that we would have an attitude of praise in the midst of the storm. There were times when negativity seeped in but for the most part we held on believing one day the storm would end. It did for Mel, although it wasn't the way I wanted it to end. After my husband died and I decided to sell the house, my prayer was that God would open the door for a higher paying job which He did. And that on His time my house would sell. My house was on the market for a few months and it wasn't selling but I wasn't getting anxious. I was having a house built and it would not be ready until November or December so I wasn't in a rush. My main prayer was that when it did sell, the amount I got from the sale of the home would be enough to cover the cash needed at closing and moving expenses for the new house. A few weeks ago someone put an offer on my house. I didn't want to go from house to apartment to house so I asked the builder if they had any move-in ready homes. That same week a military family who was having a house built got orders to move out of state so they could no longer close on their new home. The house I was building was in San Antonio and this new home in Converse but when you work from home and home-school as long as there is a Target nearby that is all that matters. The house was the same floor plan of the one I was building and would be ready at the same time my current house would close. It also had more upgrades but the cost was the same. Closed doors do not mean that God isn't working and that He is not in control. There is often a purpose behind a closed door.