My name is Kimberli and my husband, Melchor, was diagnosed with cancer in December of 2014. The blog began as I chronicled his journey with cancer. He never stopped praising God in the midst of all he was going through. He passed away on February 14, 2017 and is now rejoicing in heaven. This blog now chronicles a stage of life I didn't think I would enter until I was in my 80s or 90s, that of widowhood.
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is a question, if we are honest, most of us have asked
at one point in our life. We look at all that we are going through and
wonder why God is allowing the pain to transpire in our life. I am not
lie and act like I haven’t asked that question during the last 3 years
have. But when I read scripture I see many individuals who also could
asked that question. David, on the run for his life. Joseph, thrown into
prison. Daniel, placed in the lion’s den. Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego
into the fiery pit. Esther, an orphan. Elizabeth unable to conceive. The
goes on. Individuals who experienced hardship and their response to
hardship serves as an example to me of what my response to hardship
Can I be honest again? I don’t want my testimony to be that
of a young widow raising two children without their dad. It is absolutely not
what I would have chosen for my life. But again I go to scripture and there are
examples of individuals who also wouldn’t have chosen certain things to
transpire. Ruth and Naomi surely wouldn’t have chosen to lose their husbands.
Sarah wouldn’t have chosen to remain unable to conceive until she was nearing
100. Jeremiah wouldn’t have chosen to be despised by many. Job wouldn’t have
chosen to lose his wealth, children and health.
Sometimes God allows pain to transpire in our life.
Sometimes He allows the diagnosis to be cancer. Sometimes He allows us to lose
our job. Sometimes He allows doors of ministry to remain closed. Sometimes He
allows years to go by without a pregnancy. Sometimes He allows the season of
being single to last longer than one would hope.
We love to preach from the stories of David, Joseph, the
Disciples, Daniel, Esther and all of the other individuals who experienced
hardship in the Bible. Their stories bring forth shouts of amen and applause
because the story didn’t end in pain. The story ended in triumph and victory.
Those are amazing stories to tell. But there are times that God allows for us
to be the main character in the story called pain. Just as we read about
individuals in the Bible experiencing heartache and hardships, there are times
when God allows us to experience heartache and hardships.
And it is when those times come that we may begin to ask the
question “why me?” And as much as we may not want this to be the answer, what
if God says “Why not you?” We declare that we are available to God. We declare
that we want to be used by God. We declare that we want God’s light to shine
through us. Many times God’s light shines the brightest when we are enduring
hardships. His strength becomes evident to all those who witness you standing
in the midst of the biggest storm of your life. His provision becomes evident
to all those who witness God sustaining you when everything has been removed.
His comfort and peace becomes evident to all those who witness you praising God
in the midst of your loss.
Why me? I may never know why God allowed cancer to hit my
family. I may never know why He allowed a 31 year old husband and father of two
to die. But I do know that being used by God extends beyond just the platform.
I know that making ourselves available to God goes beyond just holding a
microphone speaking on the pulpit. I know that even in the bad that comes into
our life, God can shine so brightly for the world to see.
God allowed Joseph to be thrown into a prison but the world
saw him elevated to second in command.
God allowed David to spend years on the run but the world
saw him placed on the throne.
God allowed Sarah, Elizabeth and Hannah to endure years of
being unable to conceive, but the world was impacted by the birth of Isaac,
John the Baptist and Samuel.
God called home Ruth’s husband, but through her second marriage
there was the lineage of David and then Jesus.
God does allow pain to come into our life.
But in the midst of the pain rather than saying “why me?” We
can declare our availability to God.
while we may be the main character in what seems to be the book called
pain, it is really just a chapter of our life. In the end there is
victory and there is triumph.
More and more on my social media feeds I have been seeing a lot of churches boast of the cool, trendy new initiatives that they have begun. I have seen pictures of coffee bars that resemble Starbucks. I have seen lighting that resembles one seen on Broadway. I have read catchy sermon titles and have seen how people have brought the movies into their sermons. In so many of these posts, I see all that churches are doing to attract new members, but I don't hear them talking about the power of Jesus.
My husband passed away February 14th, 2017 after a two year battle with cancer.
To say he battled cancer is an understatement. He was hospitalized two weeks out of every month during the first year of treatment. He was hospitalized a total of 18 times. He was rushed to the emergency room 8 times. He spent close to 500 days separated from his two children over the course of two years. And eventually the chemo, designed to get rid of the cancer, caused him to be paralyzed. And for the last …
This past week my social media was inundated with engagement and wedding posts. It seemed as though everyone was either getting married or engaged during the month of November. And as I scrolled through the many pictures I began to think of those who are filled with guilt or shame over their past and who every time they see an engagement announcement or wedding picture think within themselves "that will never be me."
You have convinced yourself that because you had sex outside of marriage, or because you were in an unequally yoked relationship or because you are a single parent, or because before you were a Christian you had an abortion, or because even though you didn't have sex you didn't maintain sexual purity, (the list can go on) that you don't deserve or never will get that "happily ever after."
Your sin may have been exposed to all due to a pregnancy or maybe yours is hidden in shame and secrecy and you are afraid to even admit what you have don…
I've taken hundreds of pictures on this front porch over the last six years.
But in three weeks this house will no longer be mine.
few months ago I made the decision to put the house up for sale. It's
something Mel and I planned on doing after he was done with cancer
treatment and healed.
But the healing didn't take place on earth rather it took place in heaven and I was left with the decision what to do.
I chose to continue with the plans we made to sell.
the pictures from this porch are coming to an end. I look at my house
and all of the amazing memories that have been made. I can hear the
laughter that has filled each room. I can picture Mel waking up in the
middle of the night with our children. I can see him running and playing
with Malachi and Hannah. I picture him throwing them up in the air in
the backyard and giving them piggy back and shoulder rides up the stairs
before bed. I see him staying up late doing his homework after a long
day of work …